5 Beach Pet Peeves
You finally get the perfect day. It’s not too hot, the ocean is warm and you’re on your way to your spot on the beach. You’re looking forward to a nice, relaxing peaceful day when one of these things happen.
GETTING KICKED WITH SAND
On a big beach day it can be tough carrying all your gear and navigating the maze that is a thousand towels, but have some courtesy when walking next to someone. I look like I’m walking on hot coals weaving in and out of available sand. The last thing I want to do fling a load of sand in someone’s face when they’re relaxing. And by the way, when I get hit with flying sand from a two year old it’s ok…once. If it happens a second time, Mommy or Daddy is getting a dollar store sand pail smashed over their heads and smacked with a cheap plastic shovel.
FEEDING THE SEAGULLS
What’s so hard about this one? Is it so hard to comprehend the signs everywhere saying “Do Not Feed The Seagulls?” Listen, I’m really not that against it…in November and you’ve got the beach to yourself. But as you know, when you feed one seagull, many will follow. On a packed beach, that is not an ideal situation. Plus, that peanut butter, jelly and sand sandwich (see above peeve) is all mine and I’m not sharing!
The sounds of the beach are so well liked that there are millions of loops that we all keep on our computers and iPod’s to relax us. Do I really need to put my buds in and listen to “calming ocean sounds” while I’m 10 feet away from the water because some people have never heard of headphones? Another thing, who still has a boom box? Answer, the person next to me blasting their “Best of the Early 90s Jamz” cassette. Technology has come so far. You can bring your music anywhere, you can also bring your ear buds anywhere. There is only ONE exception to the music rule. You are free to BLAST 94.3 The Point at full volume on any beach. If anyone has a problem with that, tell them to see me.
THE BEACH BLOCKERS
Finding the perfect spot on the beach gives you the same pride as finding a really good parking space. It boggles my mind why people feel the need to park themselves right in front of you when there is plenty of space on either side. Of course, this rule only applies when it’s not packed. If we all keep trying to one up each other trying to get the closest or best view, we’ll end up IN the water.
LEAVING TRASH BEHIND
“Locals” often claim this is only something “bennys” do. Let’s put that myth to bed right now. I’ve seen a ton of locals leave their trash in the sand and just up and leave. There’s nothing more disappointing than sticking your feet or hands in the sand and discovering a mound of old cigarette butts. I try to get into the minds of people who can trash the beach and just get up and leave. But then I get so angry that I want to injure someone with an umbrella, so I just stop. Cigarette butts are a common problem, but my brother was a beach cleaner in Ortley Beach for years and told me he’s found it all. Is it too much to ask to be considerate enough to CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELF?