A Guide to Getting Into Women’s Pants
Every woman has one…and most times they go unused, sometimes for years.
I’m talking about a pair of skinny jeans. (You dirty bird.)
I don’t mean the kind of jeans with a narrow leg opening…I mean the jeans that make you feel skinny. The jeans that usually don’t fit. The ones you can’t bear to get rid of because, by God, you WILL wear them someday!!
Ladies (and random gentleman who stumbled on this article because you thought it was about something else), pardon this brag:
Today, I tried on my skinny jeans and they EFFING FIT. I didn’t even have to lay down to button them! They JUST ACTUALLY FIT.
Let me tell you about these jeans. I bought them probably in 2003. Maybe even before then. They have NEVER fit. They have always been my ‘goal jeans.’
They are so old, they are not really even in style anymore…from the so-insanely-low-waisted-you-need-to-get-a-wax era.
But dammit, they fit, so I am rocking them all day long.
Are they stretchy enough that it sort of feels like cheating? Yes. Is the muffin top spilling over? Yes. But I don’t care. I’ve covered that up with a long black top.
These are pants that I was once unable to get up past my thighs. And here I wear them, completely buttoned, and not even slightly uncomfortable.
It is a feeling that I think only a woman can understand, and a feeling I hope everyone has at least once.
This journey has been a long one. I hit my highest weight in early summer 2007. In all that time, I’ve tried a lot of things. I’ve done Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, had a personal trainer, tried the South Beach Diet for about 4 minutes, and in the last year or so, started running. I am down about 40 lbs now, and hoping to lose about 20 more.
You know I love great food, so believe me, I will struggle with weight until the day I die…but for today?
I’m wearing my skinny jeans.