Are Jersey Shore Mosquitoes Bigger And Faster This Year?
Maybe the mosquitoes are getting bigger and faster, or maybe I’m just getting slower. Is it just me or are the mosquitoes around here in rare form this summer?
I know some experts have said bugs are worse this summer bacause of the very mild winter we had, but I swear I’m seeing new types of mosquitoes. I obvoiusly know nothing about the science of mosquitoes, and I don’t know the scientific names of the different types, so I made up some names of the kinds I’ve seen.
First, there’s the “you gotta be kidding me mosquito”. Thats the one that’s about 2 inches long with legs that look more like the length of human fingers. At one point this summer, I saw one on the house and thought about asking it if it wanted a hot dog or something. Yep, that big. I watched it until the tower gave it clearance for takeoff.
Then there’s the “zebra mosquito’. That’s the one that has black and white stripes, and it has attitude. Most mosquitoes say to themselves, “I’ll wait til he’s not looking and then go in”. This one says, “stay still, you’re gonna feel a small pinch.” And then he laughs like Vincent Price at the end of “Thriller”
Finally there’s the “warp speed mosquito”. This one looks like a normal mosquito, but when you go to smack him because he just landed on your arm, you’re shocked to see he’s WAY faster than you. He casually avoids your swipe, lands right back on your arm and bites you. It’s like a mosquito mated with a fly or something.
Mosquitoes…as much a part of a Jersey shore summer as sand, beaches and hot dogs. Just not as much fun.