First, let me say I admit to nothing. Nothing except being very, very hungry. You know, the kind of hungry that might make a weaker person cave in to the temptation of reaching over and grabbing a...let's say as a random example...a beautiful olive at the olive bar in the local supermarket.

Here's how it happened. I was heading home and had hardly eaten anything through the day. I was meeting Diane at the supermarket in Point Pleasant to help her with the shopping. I figured I could make it through the shopping and eat later, but it turned out this was "Diane shopping", not "Lou shopping". "Lou shopping" is getting an Entenmann's cake and a frozen pizza and leaving. "Diane shopping" is actually buying things we need. "Diane shopping" takes longer.

So now I was starving and then, there it was...the olive bar! Now, I'm a very honest guy. If I get undercharged at the register I'll tell the cashier. I just sleep better that way. But I was very hungry. So hungry that as I approached the olive bar, I was scanning the aisle to see if their were any workers or cameras there. Yep. I was hungry. Then I spotted it. The "NO SAMPLING" sign.

I panicked. I aborted the mission and drove home hungry. And by the way, I bought a half pound of the olives anyway. I haven't even had one yet.