Dad Writes Controversial Post About Dreading The Birth of His Twins
Parents are often expected to 'keep up appearances' and pretend that everything about parenthood is sunshine and rainbows.
Everyone knows that's not reality, but do this dad's real thoughts cross the line?
Albert Garland -- It's a pen name (smart move!) before all of you try to Google him -- wrote a blog for Babble.com and it's raising some eyebrows.
In the piece, titled 'Double the Trouble: My Wife's Expecting Twins - and I'm Not Happy About It', he says, 'we’re pissed. And terrified, and angry, and guilty, and regretful.'
The couple has a son, and they wanted him to have a sibling, but they struggled to get pregnant with another child. After years of trying multiple things, they finally were able to conceive using IVF.
They are now pregnant with twin boys, and are not only unhappy, they are ANGRY about it, calling it 'my and my wife’s nightmare.'
Wait it gets better! He says,
I’m trying not to be so bitter and embrace what’s ahead of us...With four months left to go, I’m not sure what stage we’re in at the moment — but it’s not acceptance. My wife and I even both privately admitted that we don’t like the new children, which is of course insane. Excited? We’re not there yet. Terrified? Yes, when we’re not practicing denial. They say the most important thing is the kids’ health — but what about ours?'
I know the thought of having two newborns at home is probably terrifying and insanely overwhelming, but...really? This guy sounds like the most ungrateful and sorry excuse for a father I've ever heard.
Perhaps he's just venting, and I'm hoping that when those twins are born, he will feel differently about them.
For now though, I can't help but think about those twins growing up one day, reading that blog, and knowing that their parents didn't want them because of the 'burden' they would be.
Not for nothing, if you were that desperate for a second child, shouldn't you be over the moon that you even got one? It seems ridiculous to not only complain about it, but that you 'found ourselves wishing these twins away.'
So, I wonder. Do all parents have these thoughts?
I have no frame of reference on this; I'm not at that stage of my life yet. This blog just seems insanely selfish, which is the exact opposite of what a parent needs to be.
If you want to be selfish, that's fine...but then don't try so hard to have a kid! For someone so pro-active about trying to be pregnant, it makes no sense to not be excited when it works out the way it's supposed to.