Funny Belmar Beach Yelp Reviews

I love Belmar. The beach, the boardwalk, the clubs, everything about it. Not everyone is enamored by Belmar beach however. Check out these not-so-nice reviews from Yelp. It's worth pointing out that these are all from out-of-towners.

Greg A. of Princeton said:

The usual family groups are outnumbered by trashy and rude idiots.
The summer rentals were littered with garbage and drunk people on lawns and porches. There was a man who used a traffic cone as a megaphone to harass passing girls in bathing suits.

Sorry, I'll stop doing that.

Liana L. of Brooklyn set the scene.

mmtz, mmtz, mmtz, mmtz (dance beat)

"BRO, PASS THE ROIDS AND THE BABY OIL."
"YOU GOT IT, DUDE."
"BRO!"

mmtz, mmtz, mmtz, mmtz

::flex::

::flex::

::benchpress girl with giant blonde hair, fake gucci sunglasses, and full face of makeup::

Enlightening.

Kitty W. of Forrest Hills, NY described the beach.

The sand is super yellow though and I'm making a wild assumption that that is why the water is also super yellow and brown. The water at this beach has such an odd color.. Sort of like diarrhea, and that ain't cute.

Hope you're not eating while reading this.

Kelly K. of Fairfax, VA had only one plus:

 Dunkin Donuts is across the street.

Thank goodness for small miracles.

These folks are in the minority though. Most of the reviews are a little more like Shawna H.'s from Bethlehem, PA.

All I can say is wow! The town and beach are so clean! The beach is beautiful with gorgeous sand that is not at all rocky! There are play grounds on the beach for the kids to play on! I've read a few reviews that complain about parking, we have been 3-4 times and never had an issue. We parked on side streets the first few times but yesterday there was a ton of parking right along the boardwalk! The life guards are friendly! A few other reviews complained that there are police everywhere, I did notice that but don't think of it as a bad thing! It's our favorite beach and will continue to visit often...