Is Snooki’s Possible Pregnancy A Sign of the End of the World?
We don’t mean to cause a panic, but we’ve just noticed something strange that needs to be addressed.
With the Mayan calendar set to expire on Dec. 21, 2012, some are predicting this date will usher in the end of days, Armageddon, the apocalypse… THE END OF THE WORLD.
Is it any coincidence then that approximately nine months before the projected date of Judgement Day, rumors have circulated that Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi, star of the MTV reality show Jersey Shore, might be pregnant?
Let’s look at the facts.
Snooki was born in South America and adopted by Italian-American parents at six months. Is it possible that her parents were powerful ancient gods, demi-gods or other supernatural beings? It is impossible to know for sure.
Snooki’s last run through the tabloids was over her rapid weight loss. Many of the esoterics and New Agers who support the theory that the world will end in 2012 believe that the cataclysm will be tied to a galactic alignment, when heavenly bodies will synchronize in a significant way.
Is it possible that Snooki’s rapid weight loss has had a sort of “butterfly effect” on the Earth’s gravity and by extension, the alignment of the rest of the major components of our solar system?
The Mayan calendar is based world ages. The Maya believe that every 5,125 years a massive event would transition the planet from an old world to a new world. Is it any coincidence that Snooki and her Jersey Shore cast mate Jenni “JWoww” Farley are set to begin a new phase of their career by starring in their own spinoff?
Fellow Jersey Shore cast member Paul “DJ Pauly D” DelVecchio is set to premiere a new MTV series of his own this month.
While we can’t be sure what will happen in December, whether it’s the birth of a young fist-pumper in training or the final judgement of all humankind, one thing is certain… it should be interesting!
[Please note: SoJO 104.9, its parent company or subsidiaries does not ACTUALLY believe that Snooki will cause the end of the world. We’re just having some fun!]