My Open Letter To The New York Giants
I have been a good boy all (most) of the year. Letters like this work with Santa, so I hope they’ll work with you. I have been a fan of yours my whole life. I have seen the ups and downs. I have only cursed you out once or twice (twenty times) each Sunday. I have worn my lucky slippers when you played well and ripped them off when you haven’t.
I have happily purchased Kevin Boss, Jeremy Shockey, Plaxico Burress and Steve Smith jerseys only to see you get rid of them before I had a chance to wear them. I do all these things gladly. Now I have a few requests of you for Sunday. First, I want to see at least one Victor Cruz Salsa in the endzone. Second, I want Eli to throw exactly zero interceptions.
Third, I want Jason Pierre Paul to stand atop a shocked, recently sacked Tom Brady at least once. And oh yeah, can you grab that Vince Lombardi trophy while you’re in Indy? That’s all. Thanks.