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The Meanest Office-Mate In The World

vending machine
Laurie Cataldo, Townsquare Media

Beware: evil is lurking around the Point hallways, and chances are good you’re in the company of one of its relatives. It’s a beast so vicious, it sees nothing wrong with taunting you, playing with your every emotion, and keeping you from one of life’s basic necessities.

It is the office vending machine. It goes something like this:

You walk past it day after day, as it shows off its latest achievements. Oh, newly stocked with chocolate are you?? Brand new flavor of Doritos, you say?? Okay, one treat won’t kill me…

You grab $.50, excited for your afternoon snack…when, what is this?? They left out the 1?? $1.50 for chips??? If you didn’t just work yourself up for them, you wouldn’t dare, but if you don’t have them now, you’ll be craving them for the rest of the week.

So you go grab four more quarters…and now the machine decides it doesn’t like your money. You put one quarter in, it spits it right back out. You SCOUR the office looking for a coworker who will trade you a dollar bill for four quarters…and heaven help you if that dollar bill isn’t crispy!

Okay, here it is. The moment of truth: the money has been accepted, you’ve punched in the numbers…your snack as made the jump! Yes! and then…well, look at the picture.

I’m still chipless. I give up. You win, vending machine. You win.

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