Things Jersey Shore Locals Always Say They Should Do, Then Don’t (But Should)

People travel for HOURS to come here on vacation and do unique things like play mini-golf with an ocean view! You don't even think twice about it!

This is largely dependent on your work schedule and lifestyle, but for me, it really comes down to the fact that while I like individual persons, I hate PEOPLE. (Think about it, I'm in a room by myself all day!) I love going to the beach when it's calm and quiet. The thought of a summer Saturday on the sand, stuck between Joey Bag o' Donuts and every screaming kid within 50 miles just doesn't seem fun to me. But...trust me, I know, not enjoying our beautiful beaches during summer is complete insanity.

Boardwalk pizza, fudge, taffy, funnel cakes, Kohr's custard...on and on... There are endless boardwalk treats that tourists can't WAIT to have, and most of us walk right past it all without a second glance.

This is really dependent on one thing: having a friend with a boat. No boat-friend, and you're probably spending your nice summer days on dry land, missing out on lots of water-based fun, which is so dumb, because...the Ocean/Bay/River/Reservoir is RIGHT THERE.

If you're over the age of 16, and don't have children...when's the last time you went to Great Adventure? It's a massive theme park right in our backyards, with incredible coasters and rides, perfect for a fun day out...so why don't we go more often?? (Do people who live near Disney World not go there either? Are they INSANE??)

Basically a tourist staple, and yet, you've likely never done it! (Unless you miscalculated the temperature drop by the water, were severely under-dressed, and bought a hoodie out of desperation...complaining the whole time about how stupid expensive it was.)

Whether it's Twin Lights or Sandy Hook or Old Barney, they're all huge tourist attractions that we tend to overlook. My in-laws literally live a five minute walk from Twin Lights, and I've somehow NEVER wandered over to check it out. Dumb.

Again, probably dependent on whether or not you have kids, but if you don't...you probably haven't been to the Monmouth or Ocean County Fair since YOUR parents took you! Channel your inner kid, get yourself some butterfly fries, and try not to laugh during the silly features like piggy races. COME ON.

Again, this could just be my hatred of the public, but...I'd rather gouge my eyes out then sit in traffic...ever. I KNOW I'm not the only one who will opt to go to a nearby friend or family member's house for a BBQ instead, or even just sit on my couch instead of heading out to the massive, amazing, holiday weekend festival at the beach. People come from ALL OVER to see the fireworks/concert/whatever...and we're just like "Ehhhh, I definitely could have gone but...ugh it's probably a nightmare getting out." So silly!

There are SO many places to watch a movie outside during the summer, whether it's on the beach or in a local park. I've literally walked past the ones in Red Bank a dozen times and said to Duzzy, "We should come to this sometime..." and then we don't.