Warm and Fuzzy Ways to Help a Friend Move

So you have a friend or family member who is moving. Let's face it, most of us would rather do anything other than offer to volunteer our time for that kind of commitment. But here is a list of ways (big and small) that you can do something to help without having to devote to a full day to cardboard boxes and heavy lifting.

I just went through a pretty sudden move with not much time to make a plan of attack. But thanks to my friends and family and the help they offered, it all got done much more easily than I expected. After thinking about what they did, I thought I'd share that, plus a few other thoughts on simple and creative ways to help someone who is moving.

1. Before I could even do more than tell my 'old' neighbors I had to move, my three closest girlfriends on the block took me out for a 'goodbye' dinner that was very special. (And, as if my cup isn't already full) the other neighbors who are friends and couldn't be there decided to set up another day for a 'goodbye' lunch. What kind of lucky girl am I?

2. Sweet neighbors and friends stopped by before the move with everything from homemade soup, muffins and fruit so that the boys would have something to eat while we packed boxes, to cat carriers, tarps and packing tape.

3. I asked friends at work to save boxes for me, while friends who have jobs with lots of extra boxes offered to drop them off at my house.

4. I asked a couple of friends who had offered help make two runs each with boxes one evening before I did the 'full' move in order to get a jump-start on moving without having to ask too much of any one friend.

5. This photo was taken when my ingenious and creative brother-in-law used a broom handle to basically transfer my whole closet into the back of my car for the trip to the new home. It required no folding, boxing, or wrinkling.

6. A close friend with a truck brought it for moving day, and between that and two other trucks/ friends (you know who you are and thank you!), we were able to get all of the 'big stuff' over to the new house in two trips, without any of them having to stay for a full day.

7. My sister, while all of the furniture moving was being done, stayed behind at the old house to pack up my kitchen for transport, saving me a full day's labor. Then she and her husband stayed after everyone else left to make a couple more trips (in the pouring rain) for odds and ends

8. A great friend with a large SUV came for a second time to load up the bikes and other final-trip stuff the next day. We did in two trips what would have taken me over 10 trips in my smaller car.

9. Another amazing friend (who had already done more than any friend should be asked to do, ever) spent a good half day helping me clean the whole 'old' house....AND she brought lunch and we got to catch up on life during what otherwise would have been a bear of a chore. She easily saved me another full day of labor. Who offers to scrub down someone else's oven?!!! My friends are incredible!

10. Meanwhile, yet another friend that I am blessed to have picked up my boys and took them for lunch, then came back with a super duper vaccuum cleaner and carpet cleaner and did all of my carpets for me. Seriously?!

11. Another friend took furniture off of my hands that I couldn't take with me and donated it for a fundraiser, saving me having to find another way to get rid of it.

A million thanks to those awesome people listed above for all of their help, hard work, and precious time. I love each and every one of you, you know how special you are, and I am full of gratitude. Another round of thanks to all of the other friends (you know who you are) who offered to help. Just knowing that I could have called you relieved a lot of stress.

And now that I have everything in the new house (even though I haven't had enough free time to do more than unpack one box a day) I will offer a few more simple ideas in case you're not the type to want to lift boxes or drive a truck back and forth to help your friends move. Here are a couple of suggested ways you can help your friend get settled from the shock of a move:

1. Provide meals. The first week after a move, especially if the mover doesn't have time off and still has to work full time, means the kitchen is not yet unpacked and the groceries are not yet stocked on the shelves and in the fridge. I realized on day one after the move that it would easily take a week just to track down the kitchen boxes, unpack them, find where to put everything, and go grocery shopping. So we ended up living on crappy fast food for most of a week before we could even get NEAR a routine again. (Please don't get me wrong.....I am not saying this because I was lacking meals...but because it gave me a way to think of how to help the next person based on what I went through.)

2. Offer to return the cable equipment to the place it has to go back to, if the mover isn't able to take it to the new place to reinstall.

3. Offer to do address changes when possible...saving someone like me a couple of hours online. (Special thanks to my close friend who happens to be a banker -- you know who you are --for ordering me new checks, too!)

4. Offer some kind words, a prayer for some peace, and perhaps a future bottle of wine to share once the mover feels she can take a breath and relax. For me...that should be right around Christmas, when I can finally finish unpacking.

5. Please don't be upset when someone like me had to cancel seeing you because I was up to my ears in boxes and couldn't even find my clothes, much less my shampoo, to get my act together enough to get out of the house even though I had promised to be at your special events or help you with something. (I missed a birthday celebration for a friend, and I feel terrible about it.)  Moving 'should' take only a couple of days but, in reality, can disrupt your life for well over a month if not longer. Also please be understanding about missed replies to phone calls, texts, emails, and facebook messages. It's all a blur.

6. Remember that friends stay friends no matter where we all end up moving. Sure we're all busy, but there are always little ways to keep in touch : )

7. If I forgot to thank anyone PLEASE KNOW that I will feel TERRIBLE about that and will make it up to you!!!!!

8. I had some profound thought that I was saving for last...and now I have forgotten what that important paragraph was going to be. Sigh.

9. Oh yeah! Now I remember: As one friend who I was profusely thanking said to me: "Just please pay it forward." So true. Once you get out of your own head, ego, and selfishness (after all, we are ALL SO VERY BUSY) remember that once you are helped in the ways I was helped during this move, just choosing one or two things off of my lists above will tremendously help the next frazzled mom who has to juggle it all and try to keep breathing under pressure. A great thought to end on.

P.S. And a special thanks to my two big, strong teen boys for all of their hard work with no complaining...while listening to their stressed-out mom who doesn't always handle myself nearly as well as they do! I love you both forever and always.