The Best Driver In The World: Me
You know that I'm not the best driver in the world. And you know that because you are the best driver in the world. And the guy in the car next to you knows you're not the world's best driver, because he is. Welcome to New Jersey.
There is something about getting behind the wheel in the Garden State. Not only does sliding into our driver's seat immediately turn you into the world's best driver, but it also turns us into judge and jury for every other driver in a one mile radius of us.
The more in a hurry we are, the worse everyone else's driving seems to be. And of course, that's the day everybody's going slow (which is probably the speed limit). That's when we get to start handing out your awards. We have more categories than the Grammys.
There's "worst left lane driver", "worst lane changer", "worst use of signal lights", "most distracted driver" and the final award of the night "worst driver in all of the world". And we never run out of reasons why the winner gets the award and we'll keep talking until that piano music starts playing.
So welcome to the state with the most "best driver in all the world" winners. Welcome to New Jersey.