Christmas gift opening anxiety is real, and I have it

I get made fun of by loved ones for my inability to comfortably open gifts in front of people.

I’ve always found it to be incredibly awkward. Am I smiling enough? Am I smiling too much? How many different ways are there to say “I love it. Thank you!”?

Ideally, I would open gifts completely alone. A dark room is preferable.

Read More: Do pet owners really buy Christmas gifts for their pets?

Have you ever felt this stress when it comes time to gather ‘round the tree?

According to Duke University professor of psychology and neuroscience Mark Leary this is a manifestation of ordinary social anxiety.

“The situation is not all that different from many others that we encounter in everyday life that involve intense social attention, ambiguity and the possibility of not managing the situation well,” Leary, who has studied social anxiety for nearly 40 years, told HuffPost

“Like when we have to introduce ourselves and say something about ourselves to a new group of people, or sit there stupidly as waiters at a restaurant sing ‘Happy Birthday’ to us.”

Ugh. Birthdays. That’s the other time of year that I have to brace myself for diving into a gift bag in front of a loved one and put on a “middle school play” level performance.

I’m pretty sure I can pinpoint exactly what formed my gift-opening anxiety, and the worst part is that it’s a childhood anecdote that I eventually debunked after it was way too late.

Allow me to explain.

Getting anxious while opening presents

For nearly two decades, I was told by my family members about the Christmas when my parents gave me a stuffed ‘Sesame Street’ Super Grover doll.

The way the story was told is that my little toddler self opened up the gift and I lost my mind.

Screaming. Crying. Couldn’t even touch it. Pure mayhem.

So it was deeply instilled in me that people take note of how I react to gifts.

I ended up finding the home video of this Christmas in my late twenties. It turns out, the reality was that I opened up the present, saw Super Grover, and had no reaction.

My entire life of social anxiety when receiving gifts was built on a false memory.

That’s when I felt like I was losing my mind.

So after over 20 years of getting the guilt treatment for something that never happened, I think I’ve earned the right to be anxious when I have to open a present in front of the giver.

For those who also have this feeling during gift-giving occasions, there are ways to help.

Psychologist Smriti Joshi offers the following tips:

Shift your focus from the gift itself to the intention behind it," Joshi advises. "Asking where they got it, why it made them think of you and commenting on the effort they went to shifts the focus off your reaction.

Also, prepare a go-to phrase or two. ‘This is so kind of you’ or ‘Wow, I have nothing like this’ are home runs.

This might be hard at holiday gatherings but try not to drink much. Joshi says alcohol might seem like a good way to relax but it can actually heighten your anxiety.
To my fellow actors in this Christmas’ performance of “I Love this Gift, Thank You So Much,” break a leg.

The post above reflects the thoughts and observations of New Jersey 101.5's Kylie Moore. Any opinions expressed are Kylie's own. You can follow Kylie on Instagram.

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