My Smartphone Is Not Making Me Smarter

There's no feeling worse than getting halfway to work and realizing you forgot it. You have that feeling of panic and wonder how you're going to get through the day without it. If my smartphone was so smart it would figure out how to get to the station if I forget it.

The smartphone...personally, I'm not so smart anymore without it. It has half my life on it and since I no longer know anyone's number, there's no way to contact them to tell them they can't contact me. 

It has my entire schedule on it, so I'm bound to forget an appointment or two without it. And now I can't get my junk email immediately while I'm in a parking lot or at lunch, or at a client appointment.

And how am I supposed to spell things wrong without it. How can I send a text that says "latrine" when I was trying to type "later". How is it that you never notice that until it's sent.

And how can I take a picture or a video that will absolutely be the one that goes viral, like two Canada geese arguing or tonight's sunset. Weren't sunset pictures prettier when we weren't taking them every night? 

So, I don't know how smart the phone is, but it's not making me any smarter. Or as the the text would read, it doesn't mark me ant splatter.