10 Reasons You Don’t Want to Move to the Jersey Shore
The Jersey Shore is not for everybody. It will no doubt take some to adjust. If you have friends or family that are thinking about moving here, you better share this with them so they know what they're getting themselves into. Let's be real, it sucks here.
Too Many Miles of Boardwalk Get Lost On
Who has time to wander down historic and beautiful boards? Not to mention the ocean breeze in your face and breathtaking views of the Atlantic. You've got places to be!
Too Many Pro Sports to Root For
*takes a deep breath before starting list* New York Giants, New York Jets, Philadelphia Eagles, New York Yankees, New York Mets, Philadelphia Phillies, New Jersey Devils, New York Rangers, New York Islanders, Philadelphia Flyers, New York Knicks, Brooklyn Nets, Philadelphia 76ers. Holy options!
Too Many Breweries and Distilleries to Get Drunk At
Folks at the Jersey Shore don't enjoy a cold one or alcoholic beverage at Applebees. Nothing against Applebees, love the apps. Instead, you and your friends will first have to decide whether it's going to be a brewery or distillery. After that's been agreed upon, will it be Beach Haus in Belmar, or Asbury Park Brewery? Talk about stress!
The Seafood is too Fresh
You're used to the frozen delight that is Gordon's Fisherman, and that's ok. Move to the Shore, and you'll have to deal with seafood that is caught and served, ready for it...day of! Don't believe me? Check out a real Jersey Shore lobster fisherman, and our own Lou Russo.
Too Many Concert Venues to See Your Favorite Artist
Music is kind of big deal here. While most parts of the country have one arena to see concerts, we have a ton. It starts in our backyard with The Stone Pony in Asbury Park, Count Basie Theatre in Red Bank, and The Strand in Lakewood. But in just an hour or so you can be at PNC Bank Arts Center, Prudential Center in Newark, even "The World's Most Famous Arena," Madison Square Garden isn't a far trip. Oh, did I mention the plethora of spots in Philadelphia and Atlantic City? You'll have way too much live music to take in here.
You'll Be Exposed to Pork Roll
Sure, "pork roll" doesn't sound too appetizing, but once you've had pork roll, egg, and cheese on a bagel with a little ketchup, you'll be hooked. What do you put on your bagel, cream cheese? Ha!
You'll Be Too Close to New York and Philadelphia
Can you handle being able to visit the city that never sleeps and ring The Liberty Bell in Philly with just a reasonable drive or trip on the train? We're smack dab in the middle of two huge cities with a whole bunch of history, culture, and destinations. Will you be able to handle all of the stimulation?
You'll Never Eat Pizza the Same Way Again
There's really only one time eating Dominos is acceptable, and that's after an all-night bender. Getting a real, authentic slice of pizza at the Shore is easy. You're literally never more than 5 minutes away from an awesome pie. You don't want to be spoiled, do you?
There's Too Much to do in the Summer
If your idea of spending a summer afternoon is with a tablet and the A/C blasting, the Shore is not for you. We have way too many festivals, events, and activities in the summertime. A lot of these happenings take place on the beach, too. Movies, music, bonfires, etc. Hope you like the beach!
Way Too Many Beaches
How much beach does one need? Which beaches are best for R&R? Which is best for partying? Which is best for surfing? There are so many pristine stretches of sand to choose from, by the time you decide, you'll have to walk 5 miles just to get to one. It's best to just steer clear.