Why You Shouldn’t Say “I Love You” Too Soon

Have you ever thought you were falling in love with someone, but didn't want to say " I love you" too soon? You may have been wise to hold back. Here are some reasons not to say "I love you" too soon.

According to one website on love, here's why you should not say "I love you" too soon:

-- Once you tell someone you love them, it takes all of the guesswork out of your budding relationship. There's no more wondering or anticipation. It'll take some of the excitement  away. Revel in that newness and enjoy it for a while.

-- If you tend to be reactive or jump into things too quickly, don't blurt out "I love you" just because you're having a great moment, before you've had the time to really consider whether this is love or just a really great date.

-- Think about how you will feel if you say "I love you" and the other person doesn't say it back. Will you feel awkward and uncomfortable? Will you second guess having said it too soon? It's not good to feel confused at such an early stage...or to start feeling insecure. You'd have to be really sure that you love the person and that you will be okay with them not being ready to say it back, in case they don't! In addition, if that person feels like you put them on the spot and DOES say it back...will you wonder if they were really ready to hear it and really meant it when they said "I love you too"???

-- And, if the other person hasn't said "I love you" to you in return, you may have ended up putting them under a lot of pressure to decide whether or not they ARE in love with you...and that kind of pressure could backfire into them running away because they don't want that hanging over them. You might have just scared that person off because you couldn't be patient and wait to say it yourself.

-- Are you saying "I love you" for the wrong reasons? Are you worried that you will lose this person, or that they might still be dating or interested in other people, and that by you saying "I love you" it will cement things between the two of you? If that's why you're saying it, sounds like you have some work to do on yourself first. Saying " I love you" because you are needy is never a good thing.

-- Saying "I love you" too soon, even if you both think you mean it at the time, could lead to one or both of you feeling trapped once you realize that maybe you really weren't yet ready to commit to such a serious relationship and what that means for one or both of you.

So, the question is, when do you think is the best time to say "I love you" for the first time? Can you put a specific time frame on it, like the number of dates you've been on or how many months you've been together? Or do you look for signals and hints that make you sure you know the person well enough to be able to say those magic words?