Wedding season is just around the corner and someone you know is probably gearing up for the biggest day of his or her life.

Of course, no day can go as perfect as you pictured it in your head. These are the statements that can bring your special day to a grinding halt.

1. “Yeah, I’ve got a reason why he and she should not be joined in holy matrimony…or should I say he AND HE?”

2. “The SWAT team’s negotiator hasn’t been able to reach an agreement with the bridesmaids who both went for the bouquet.”

3. “The only songs the organist knows how to play are ‘In-a-Gadda-Da-Vida’ and ‘Baby Elephant Walk.’”

4. “You may now kiss the bride. Oh come on, you can do better than that. Put some tongue into it.”

5. “The cake with the stripper in it was supposed to go to the bachelor party, not the reception.”


7. “Your father and I thought we’d save ourselves a little money, so we just hired one photographer to shoot photos of the wedding, the reception and the wedding night.”

8. “I now pronounce you man and wife. Please pull up to the next window to receive your marriage license and complementary $40 in casino chips.”

9. “I hope your daughter will have a long and happy marriage, Kris Jenner.”

10. “Do I take this man to be my lawfully wedded husband? I’d like my attorney to answer that question.”


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