Irrational Disney Blogger Whines About Changes That Have Nothing to Do With Him

The Disney Parks are undergoing a lot of changes lately - there are new rides coming, changes being made to classics, and most recently, Cast Members (that's what park employees are called) are being given more freedom to express themselves with the dress code.

This is apparently a very big problem for Mr. Jonathan Vanboskerck. Jonathan is so AFFECTED by all of these changes that have nothing to do with him, that he decided to write an entire article for the Orlando Sentinel about it called "I love Disney World, but wokeness is ruining the experience." Translated into mature speak, that means "Wah wah wah wah, wah wah wah wah wah wah."

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There's more to unpack here than there was when I got home from my last Disney trip, but let's start by explaining the new dress code policy. Previously there was a strict dress code that prohibited things like visible tattoos, and even unnatural colored nail polish. But now that has all been relaxed to allow cast members to express their cultures and individuality (rock on, Disney)- you can get the full details on this on Disney Food Blog's Site.

According to our pal Jonathan, self-expression is a no-no. Why is feeling good about yourself such a big deal to Mr. Vanboskerck?

The problem is, I’m not traveling across the country and paying thousands of dollars to watch someone I do not know express themselves. I am there for the immersion and the fantasy, not the reality of a stranger’s self-expression. I do not begrudge these people their individuality and I wish them well in their personal lives, but I do not get to express my individuality at my place of business.

Oh. My. God. So you're saying little Jessica, a college student who runs It's a Small World to help pay her bills who just happens to have a 1-inch by 2-inch infinity symbol tattoo on her right ankle that is only noticeable if you squint, is somehow RUINING YOUR VACATION? LOOK INWARD, JONATHAN. Maybe use those thousands of dollars you'll be saving by not coming to Disney on THERAPY to find out why THIS BOTHERS YOU SO MUCH :)

Next, Johnny boy has an issue with the changes coming to rides like Jungle Cruise that reflects harmful views. A quote from our favorite writer:

Disney is in the process of taking the woke scalpel to the Jungle Cruise. Trader Sam is out because he might offend certain people. Every grown-up in the room realizes that Trader Sam is not a representation of reality and is meant as a funny and silly caricature. It is no more based in racism than every Disney caricature of an out-of-touch white American dad.

The next time I ride Jungle Cruise I will not be thinking about the gloriously entertaining puns of the skippers, I will be thinking about Disney’s political agenda. That’s a mood killer.

Jonathan, my love, this is something to bring up to your therapist that we discussed earlier, kay? The fact that you are letting a change, that again, has nothing to do with you, ruin your whole ride, is concerning. The Skipper is still going to be HYSTERICAL with or without Trader Sam. The last trip we went on, when the Skipper told the famous "Backside of water" joke, he yelled water for a good minute and I laughed so hard I nearly peed out the dole float I had drank before getting on.

I feel sorry for you, Jonathan. It seems like you take a personal issue with people being happy, and search for ways that it can ruin your fun, rather than being present and in the moment, and just enjoying things. It's ironic that you find discomfort in necessary changes that are being made to comfort others. Truly disgusting.

Go ahead and deprive yourself and your family of fun memories at Disney. You're being a martyr for absolutely no one. I certainly won't miss you, more cream cheese stuffed pretzels for me, Babe.

H/T: Jonathan Vanboskerck, Orlando Sentinel