True Blood Season 5 Episode 1 Recap

True Blood is back and the first episode didn't disappoint!

I’m wearing a Walmart sweatsuit for y’all. If that’s not the definition of team spirit, I don’t’ know what is!

"Turn! Turn! Turn!" picked up right where last season’s finale left off,  with some added perspective, showing Lafayette run downstairs  after hearing the gun shot and Bill and Eric sensing Sookie was in danger but choosing to focus on their own problems. Two loose ends tied up in the first 30 seconds of the show, excellent! Shortly after Bill left Jessica a message telling her he will be away and that, “My house is your house, within reason of course.” he and Eric were ambushed by The Authority.

Enter Pam. Looking for Eric, she stumbled upon the scene in the kitchen. Reluctantly, Pam agreed to save Tara by turning her into the one thing she cannot stand; a vampire. Pam warned that with the gunshot wound turning Tara may not save her, but more on that later. Sookie and Lafayette dug a hole for Pam and Tara in the yard and buried them.

Next, we were at Jason Stackhouse’s doorstep, where he was face to face with a vampire Steve Newlin who glamored Jason and tricked him into inviting him inside. Steve confessed his feelings for Jason and told him he loved him. Weird. Jason said he was flattered, and it was the nicest ‘I love you’ he’s ever received, but to be honest he doesn’t bark that way. Out came the fangs and in came Jessica, giving Steve two options, “Let him go, or the true death.” I love Jessica. Steve left and it was Jason and Jessica round 2. I really love Jessica.

Then, we saw Sam face to face with a group of angry werewolves looking for their packmaster Marcus. Sam flew off, but was tracked by the werewolves to Luna’s house. She tells him not to cover for Alcide, but Sam confesses to a crime he didn’t commit to protect Luna and her daughter, Emma.

On the road, Team Eric & Bill are in the trunk of a car enroute to the Authority. They punctured the gas tank and blew up the car to escape. We were introduced to Nora, who after sharing a lengthy kiss with, Eric explains is his sister. Wait, what? No, it’s cool, they aren’t related, they both have the same maker, Godric. Eric’s “sister” also happens to be a Chancellor of the Authority. Bill was impressed. He knew Eric had friends in high places, but someone in the Authority? Eric tells Bills that nobody knows about Nora, not even Pam. Looks like we’re in for a season of Bill and Eric being BFFs.

At dinner, Terry was on edge about his family hearing old war stories about his time in Iraq. His old Marine friend Patrick seemed just as on edge when he learned that their house had been burned down. Later that night at Merlotte’s, Patrick confronts Terry and tells him he lost his home in a fire. So did two other men in their squad. He believes it has to do with what happened night in Iraq. What happened in Iraq? Is Terry’s past coming back? Could the ghost of Rene really been right? Patrick admitted he came to visit Terry because he thought HE was starting the fires, but now he wants his help figuring out who is behind them.

Alcide, stopped by Sookie’s house after she finished cleaning up the pieces of his exgirlfriend. He warned her that Russell Edgington is on the loose and coming for her. He wanted her to stay with him and she objected, but before she could tell him WHY she can’t stay with him, Lafayette (who was eavesdropping) interrupts and kicks Alcide out.

Meanwhile, Sam, who was covering for Alcide, was being interrogated by the werewolves. A woman named Martha explains to him that the pack needs Marcus’ body to perform a ritual that honors their fallen pack leader and that if he tells them where to find his body, no harm will come to Luna or Emma. The werewolves dug up the body of Marcus, but before they killed Sam, Alcide stepped out of the shadows to confess to the murder. Martha, who turned out to be Marcus’ mother, transforms back into a werewolf and begins to eat his body. What? THAT’S the ritual?! Being a werewolf is gross!

Eric and Nora’s “quality time” was interrupted by a phone call from Alcide that left him visibly nervous. Looks like he just received the news about Russell Edgington. Nora, Bill and Eric were met by an extraction team and received papers and new identities. Before they could get on the boat, there was an ambush. The extraction team was killed and The Authority had the three of them at gun point. Stake point?

Back at the house, Sookie and Lafayette waited in the dark for Pam and Tara. Pam climbed out of the hole and drank a bottle of TrueBlood while Sookie dug Tara up. Sookie cried over Tara’s lifeless body. Lafayette cried. Everyone was sad (except fans who can’t stand Tara) and we waited an entire episode for this plan to not work. Suddenly, Tara rose from the grave and attacked Sookie?!

CREDITS

Noooooooooooo!

What did you think of last night's premiere?