How Not To Buy a Drill

My friend Keith came to the house a few weeks ago to replace some doors. He's the kind of guy who can fix just about anything and has every tool in existence. At one point I asked him what a particular tool was, and he just laughed. I wasn't kidding. A drill and a screwdriver...in one?? Who knew? Well, Keith did...and so did my wife.

I then decided it was time for me to step it up in the 'man stuff' category and get one of these cutting edge drill/screwdriver gadgets. I went to the home improvement store in Brick and just prayed I didn't have to ask for help, but of course I had to. I chose my words carefully, knowing I was about to engage a real home improvement expert. I selected some technical terms that would make me sound like a well rounded handy man, but when my mouth opened, this is what came out,

"Do all these things fit in that thing?"

I didn't just say that, did I? He asked me what I was using it for. This was my chance to say something rough and rugged to impress him. Maybe I'm ripping up some concrete or buliding a wall or something. So my mouth opened again and these words flew across the store,

"I need to poke holes in a plastic garden pot so the flower roots don't rot."

What is wrong with me??   I just grabbed the drill and ran to the check-out. Here's the ultimate insult. When I got home and opened the box, there were no instructions.