He Lives In New Jersey And Doesn’t Like Pork Roll – What Now?

Here's a question for you. What happens to you if you live in New Jersey but you don't like pork roll?

I want to be clear about something. I am asking this question for a friend. I would never admit to disliking pork roll and expect to continue to be allowed to live in New Jersey.

My "Friend" Has To Hide In The Shadows"

My "friend", however, does not like the taste of pork roll. He'll eat it if it's buried in a pile of eggs, but he'd much rather have some bacon.

This friend I speak of does live in New Jersey, but he is currently using an assumed name and living in an undisclosed location.

Read More: New Jersey's Oldest Road

His biggest fear is that he will be the target of "big pork roll" and the machine behind it. He has heard of stories ao other New Jersey residents admitting they don't like pork roll, and then being mercilessly trolled.

Pork Roll Haters Are Always Looking Behind Their Backs

We have all seen what happens on social media to people who try to call it Taylor Ham. It's not very pretty.

Get our free mobile app

We can only imagine the consequences to a person who won't eat it no matter what you call it.

This poor guy dresses in disguise to walk by the pork roll at the supermarket to get plain old breakfast sausage.

He's Not Asking For Much

All my friend wants to do is breathe fresh air, walk out of his home without a disguise, and put a sausage patty on his breakfast sandwich. Is that too much to ask?

Details are to come soon on the GoFundMe page we're going to set up for him. Let's remember, that this is America, and a man should be able to choose his breakfast meat without his world being turned upside down.