Which Of These Dating Profiles Would You Choose For Liz?

This week on our morning show, a professional profile writer took a crack at turning my long list of deal breakers into a positive dating profile. Lou, on the other hand, had his own ideas...

If you've been listening every morning this week to the Lou & Liz show, then you may have heard Mike Farragher, creator of the resume and dating profile service Love Letters, call in to tell me that he thought it was time I let him write one up for me. Granted, he has known me since college and thinks it's high time I used his services. So he offered up a sample of a fun, catchy dating profile for me.

It couldn't have been easy for him once I gave him my rather long list of criteria (lol!) Still, Mike accepted the challenge and wrote this little ditty:

DJ Makes a Special Request:

Radio DJ with a Top 40 list of bad romantic hits and a fierce loyalty streak seeks an all around good dude this time around. Good = nice to his family (kids and exes as applicable) with an engaging group of friends he can bring to rock the party. I talk for a living and it’s loud: I’m Italian and we don’t have a volume knob. The on-air personality is big when in fact I’m an extroverted introvert. Case in point: I love the glittery night lights as long as I’m in bed by 10PM for my morning drive shift. Proud mama of two boys who has taken a commercial break from my love life to raise them right is ready to go out in the world and nab someone who loves quiet home-Ubered meals ordered on an app with love. If you’re socially distanced from humor or lively conversations, you won’t win this prize, even if you’re caller 94. Put the needle on the record, wink, swipe, do whatever—and let’s make beautiful music together now!

"Are you Mr. Funny, Mr. Perfect, Mr. Chef, Mr. Masseuse, Mr. Loyal, Mr. Talented, Mr. Clean-Up-After-Yourself, Mr. Family Man, Mr. Do-Whatever-I-Say-Whenever-I-Say-It, Mr. Speak-When-Spoken-To, Mr. Travel, Mr. Homebody, Superman, Batman, Aquaman, and Spiderman rolled into one? Do you look like a cross between Brad Pitt and Keith Urban? If you have just eyeballed my list of 78 dealbreakers and if none of them apply to you, then maybe, just maybe, I'll meet you in a public place as long as you're paying, you're on time, and you don't expect me to laugh at your stupid lines. If you didn't stop reading this 10 minutes ago, contact me."