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How To Complete A Marathon Without Sweating

treadmill
A treadmill like this one has invaded my home (flickr user, lzzard)

My wife Diane runs 5k’s and half marathons. She wanted a treadmill to train daily in the winter, no matter what the weather. I told her when it arrived I’d start working out, too. Well, it’s here. Me and my big mouth.

It got delivered Saturday, and I took my wife’s advice and asked the delivery guys to set it up. It took them 15 minutes. It would have taken me 6 hours and it wouldn’t have been done right. Plus, I would have had to get up from the couch.

She jumped right on there and did 5 miles or something like that. I’m not positive because I was busy with a marathon of my own. That’s right, I had a marathon of my own on Saturday. A “Law and Order SVU” marathon. Nearly finished it, too. By the way, if you’re ever on a game show and the million dollar question is, “How do you complete a marathon without sweating or burning a single calorie? “, the answer is “Law and Order”.

I did finally get on the thing. l walked for about a half hour. It told me I burned 103 calories. Great, that was the first two bites of my breakfast. Two seconds to eat it…35 minutes to burn it off. Sounds fair.

Anyway, I do think I’m gonna get on it every day. And I’ll probably start eating better, too, since there’s no need to waste the effort, right? We’ll see what happens!

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