How to Get your Partner to Really Hear You
Communication in a relationship. It's not always easy. Our relationship expert has some advice for you.
As one frustrated listener called in to say, "My husband rolls his eyes when I want to talk to him about something important to me. This makes me so mad."
Stacey Rose, from the Rose Relationship Learning Center, has some ideas that may help.
She says that it's best to ask your partner if he's in the frame of mind to listen to you before you launch into a conversation about how you are feeling about something. Maybe he is having a bad day or under a lot of pressure at work and there would be a better time for him to listen to you than at this very moment.
Another way to communicate that could be effective, according to Stacey, is to use your phone's timer and each take 60 seconds at a time to say what you are feeling on a certain topic. You get one minute to speak, and then he gets one minute. This way you aren't doing a ten minute monologue without him having a chance to catch up.
Stacey says there really is some truth to 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" (John Gray) and that book actually still holds up! So if you never read it, now might be the time.
Learn how to give your partner the benefit of the doubt before assuming you know what his actions are saying to you. Be sure to open a conversation with positivity, perhaps something you are grateful for about your spouse.
Also, Stacey says that for each negative moment, it is good to have five positive moments. So try aim for plenty more good moments than bad ones.
If you have a question for our relationship expert, ask it here, or...call in on Monday mornings starting at 7:35 am!