Ocean Township Therapist Offers Advice on Siblings

Stacey Rose tackles a relationship topic each week on Lou and Liz in the Morning. Here's what she has to say about how to get along, as adults, with your siblings.

Stacey Rose, from the Rose Relationship Learning Center in Ocean Township, says that the relationship you have with your siblings is one of the longest relationships you will ever have.

Since your parents will, in many instances, pass away before your siblings and since you probably haven't known your spouse as long as you've known your brother or sister, the relationship you have with your siblings will many times be the longest one you have in life.

Many times a sibling can hang onto resentment, or even envy, from childhood. Maybe you feel like your siblings have always competed with you. Or maybe two of your siblings were always close while you felt like the outsider.

Whatever the case, Stacey says that if you'd like to have a good adult relationship with your siblings, the best way to start may be a one-on-one conversation that starts with telling your sibling that you love them and it would be great if you could try again to be friends.

Stacey says that although it may be easier for some people to let go of the past, it is, ultimately, your choice (and your sibling's) to decide whether to let go of, or hang onto, any past resentments.

It's also important to remember that things that happened between you and your siblings in childhood were in a time where you had different things going on in your lives than you do as adults. Perhaps you had a volatile parent, or were going through high school trauma, and all of that may have factored into the way you and your siblings treated each other as children.

Birth order, age difference and gender are also all factors that could have affected your early relationship with a sibling, and sometimes, even as adults, that still comes into play, especially if you all find yourselves reverting to your childhood behavior when you get together for the holidays or other family gatherings.

Stacey highly recommends a book called The Four Agreements. The author is Don Miguel Ruiz. One of the chapters has to do with letting things go. Might be helpful.

If you'd like to ask Stacey a question or get some help with any kind of relationship, whether it's with a sibling or spouse, you can call us every Monday morning when Stacey comes on our show at 732-988-POINT, or CLICK HERE to find out more info on The Rose Relationship Learning Center.