Awkward Questions People Have Asked Me Since I Got Engaged
As you get older, we all seem to hear the same questions, and I'm pretty sure I've heard most of them in the last (almost) year and a half since getting engaged.
Here's my list of awkward/inappropriate/annoying/odd questions I've been asked...(and the answers I wish I could have given.)
I'm confident that 90% of these were not said with bad intent, and most times people want to make conversation and just don't know what else to say, but sometimes people are just rude. Some of these were said by friends and family, but several were from complete strangers, which makes it even more awkward.
What I actually said: "Um...I don't really...could you pass the bread?"
What I wanted to say: "Unless you're offering, it's none of your business."
What I said: "Not even a little bit."
What I wanted to say: "Do you want a schedule of when have sex? How do you even know we want kids? What if we don't? What if we DID want kids and found out we're infertile? Do you realize why this is a terrible question?"
WIS: "Uh...I don't know...eventually, I'm sure."
WIWTS: "Are you offering me money for the down payment? Or the mortgage? Did you want to handle my student loan payments?"
WIS: "I think it depends on what we can afford."
WIWTS: "Are you just trying to ask how much my fiance and I make?"
WIS: ::awkward laugh:: "Where do you think I should go?"
WIWTS: "Because it looks f'ing beautiful and I've wanted to go there since I was 5."
WIS: "Well, we both have big families..."
WIWTS: "I'm Italian. And I'm getting old. So I know a lot of people."
WIS: "Oh, um, you don't have to...I can add more? We don't...let me take a look at it..."
WIWTS: "We have a one bedroom apartment and don't need all that much...and I already feel really awkward about having a registry because it makes it seem like we're demanding gifts and we just want to celebrate the day with everyone and OH MY GOD I'M SORRY."
(Okay, this one's not a question, but it was actually said to me by someone I don't know that well...and my brother's fiancee said someone recently said the same thing to her!!)
WIS: "Oh...um...yeah...that's terrible."
WIWTS: "WTF? Why would you say that? Do you think we don't know about the divorce rate? Can you take your negativity somewhere else? Kthxbye."
WIS: "Oh, yeah that's a good idea!"
WIWTS: "Because it's what we wanted. You can have what YOU like at YOUR wedding."
WIS: "Nah, I'm ready!"
WIWTS: "If by nervous, you mean excited, then yes!"
What my brain says: "Why does everyone keep asking this? Am I supposed to be nervous? Do I look nervous? Am I forgetting something?? Is this wedding doomed if I'm not nervous??? NOW I'M NERVOUS ABOUT NOT BEING NERVOUS."