Wedding planning has opened my eyes to a whole new world of etiquette, including what is and isn't considered appropriate or tacky.

From the proper way to handle people fishing for invites to how to correctly word save the dates to my newest dilemma: whether or not to "Honeyfund."


If you've never heard of it, a honeyfund is a registry for your honeymoon. So, for example, instead of someone buying you a ceramic dust collector gravy boat, they can opt to pay for you and your future spouse to enjoy a spa treatment, excursion, etc. on your honeymoon.

I love the idea of it, especially because Duzzy and I already live together and don't need a lot of the traditional things a married couple would register for.

Now, just to address this and get it out of the way, we don't EXPECT anyone to give us gifts, and we would undoubtedly appreciate any token someone gave us. Yes, we are generally just looking forward to spending a night celebrating with the people we love. That said, let's just be completely honest about it: we're assuming people are going to give us gifts. It's a reasonable assumption, based on the seemingly endless weddings I've been to and given gifts for over the last 10 years. Let's continue.


Now, some people feel it's tacky to register for gifts at all, as it seems like you're demanding people buy you things, while others feel like it just makes it easier for people to contribute a gift knowing it's something the couple needs or wants. Others feel awkward simply offering a check or cash.

It seems to all come down to personal preference when it comes to registering for physical things. The concept of a honeymoon registry, though, seems different.

I think it would be really cool to know you could surprise a couple by having a bottle of champagne waiting for them in their hotel room when they arrive at their honeymoon...or pay for them to go on an excursion they'll always remember. Most times experiences are much more valuable than stuff.

However, it might seem to some like you are asking people to pay for your vacation, which I don't think is the intention. Most people I know that have used it absolutely loved it and recommended it.

There are also different honeymoon registry sites available: some actually let you buy specific excursions or items in advance, others just give suggestions on what the money could be used for, but in the end, the couple just receives a check. I'm not sure if that would make a difference to people.

I keep going back and forth between thinking it's inappropriate and thinking it's a good idea.

So I ask you -- to honeyfund or not to honeyfund?