Going to the beach is something we at the Jersey Shore look forward to doing in the summer. We battled through the ups and downs of Mother Nature’s fury. By the time summer gets here, just taking a day to lay on the beach seems like a great stay-cation. That is, until... the heathens with no beach etiquette show up and plop themselves right in front of you after stepping all over your towel and kicking sand all over your legs. To make matters worse, they have bratty kids with no proper home training so they are not only running all over your towels, kicking up sad as they go, they are throwing it at each other. The parents are too busy unpacking their huge umbrella that is casting a shadow on you so they began yelling for them to stop…they don’t. One of the parents turns to you and says “Kids will be kids.” NO lady NOOOO!!! Children need to be taught how to behave, especially in public places. Clearly you can see the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree as you see the parents plopped in their chairs talking extremely loud and then throwing potato chips at a seagull lurking close by. The wind shifts and here comes a huge dose of sunscreen spray right in your mouth. MMM totally not appetizing at all. You look around and realize there is nowhere to move to and you really don’t want to leave because you have been looking forward to this day off at the beach. You decide to walk down by the water just to avoid the sand flinging kids and super obnoxious parents. 20 minutes go by and here they come, barreling down the sand so you quickly return to your spot to enjoy some peace and quiet only to find they have a speaker blaring the music you hate the most. WHAT A NIGHTMARE!!!! Thank goodness this is just a made-up story that I took a compilation of multiple situations I have really experienced. Thankfully not in one day!

If you are like the family from hell I described, could you just not do those things? Learn some beach etiquette or just do not go to the big sandbox! Let me school you on how NOT to behave at the beach.

  1. Do not plop down directly on top of someone. Give people some space in between. Like literally at least two body lengths. Geez no one wants to be all up in someone else’s space. It’s too hot for all that!
  2. Do not run next to people. No one wants sand to be kicked on them or towels stepped on or worse of, fell on or stepped on.
  3. Do not shake your towel near people. Wait till you get to an area where there is no one. Sand in the eye is never fun!
  4. Since umbrellas may be banned now just know tents have the same effect. Don’t block out someone else’s sunshine!
  5. Teach your kids how to act before getting there! ENOUGH SAID!
  6. DO NOT FEED THE WILDLIFE!!!
  7. Pay attention where you are spraying your tanning spray and sunblock. No one wants to taste it!
  8. Keep your voice at a normal decibel. I do not want to know what you are talking about and how many guys or girls you slept with last night.
  9.  Clean up ALL OF YOUR TRASH!!! There are garbage cans for a reason. USE THEM!!!!
  10. For the love of god, if you are going to blast your speakers, can you make sure it’s set on 94.3 The Point?!

 

That about sums it up! Have a fun and safe summer at the Jersey Shore!! Don’t be like the family from hell!!